My Journey On Learning How To Manage Money

Ok, I know I’m 46 years old now, and I hate to admit, I haven’t been the best in managing my money. Learning how to manage money was never a thing for me. At such a young age, I already had bad credit. It started with a landline phone bill I couldn’t afford. At 16 years old, I lived in Oregon with just me and my first daughter. I was calling California a lot to speak to my family or her dad.

Yes, I was 16 with my first daughter. At the time, I moved away from Oakland, California to give myself a better opportunity and try to get my GED. I felt staying in Oakland wouldn’t benefit my future since a lot of my friends were also high school drop outs and not the greatest influences. We were all a product of our environment. Needless to say, I did not receive any financial education growing up. Learning how to manage money was definitely not a part of our school curriculum. My school couldn’t even afford yearbooks. We printed out names of students on paper and stapled them together for our yearbooks. In fact, I lived in the projects and the thought of ever leaving one day was far fetched.

I knew once I went to Oregon to get my GED, I would return to Oakland. My immediate and only goal at the time was to get a GED. I couldn’t see past that to really envision anything else for my future.

Why did I decide to get my GED in Oregon? That in itself is a long story. Basically, my daughter’s dad had a young aunt that was going to University of Oregon at the time. His family thought it would be a good idea for both of us to leave Oakland. Because he was involved in gangs, we both agreed that after having my daughter, this would be a good opportunity for us to care for our family in a safer environment. He ended up leaving my daughter and I up there. Like I said, it’s a long story.

I share this with you not to gain pity but more so for understanding. Understanding of my background and how there was a lack money and education both in finance and academics. I ended up getting my GED, and I ended up moving back to Oakland.

This time I returned to Oakland with bad credit as well. It wasn’t until my early 30’s I was able to correct my credit and finally join the good credit crowd. I was so ecstatic! I finally was able to open credit cards.

In my mid-30’s I started my career in nursing. I was able to finally find a permanent great paying job! I’m not sure if many of you understand. But that feeling of being able to take care of my children without worrying if I had enough money in my bank account was out of this world. I was over the moon that I was approved for a credit card with a credit limit of $16000!

Prior to starting my career, I went through a lay off due to the financial crisis in 2007-2008. When I was laid off, I decided to go back to school (the start of my debt). I graduated with a bachelors in business management and then went back to obtain my license in nursing. During this time, I was getting unemployment and caring for my three girls who were still in either high school or middle school. There were times when I had to decide to either pay for the water bill or electricity. It was one or the other and never both. I’d have to borrow money from friends or family (all of which I’ve always paid back).

Fast forward to now, I make a six figure salary and still cannot budget my money. I now owe a lot in credit cards and loans. But my bills are always paid on time and there’s no choosing which to pay for. I just pay them all.

Judge me all you want. I write this blog not for your judgement but instead to be vulnerable. I share my journey of getting out of this mess and slowly educating myself on financial literacy. Something that was never afforded to me or anyone around me when I was younger.

When I got my first big credit card, I took my kids on a long overdue vacation. The total of that cost me around $3000 which I paid off right away. I was doing so well with my finances. But somewhere along those lines, I dropped the ball and got tired of budgeting and scheduling time to go over my finances. I just stopped. Several years later, I’m in 6-figures of debt (half of that is still in student loans). The one saving grace is that I saved some money for my retirement and invested some as well. So although I’m in 6-figures of debt, I also saved 6-figures. However, my net worth which I’m understanding is most important is probably only a few thousand dollars.

What prompted me to write was because I withdrew from one of my investment accounts today. I hated doing that because it took me so long to build up. But I really needed the money. I current only have $200 in my checking account until payday next week. I also told my oldest who got married on Friday at City Hall that I would help her out and give her $1500. Even though my money management isn’t great, I do find joy in being able to support my kids financially because I couldn’t do so when they were younger.

My girls don’t take advantage of me wanting to help them financially. They all graduated college and foot the bill themselves. I try my best to help them as much as I can as a single parent. When they were in college, I’d give them a credit card for groceries or gas, and they rarely used it. I felt like that was the least I could do since they didn’t have their dad around. I’m not trying to make excuses for my poor money management. But there’s this guilt I felt/feel for not being able to provide for them the way a double income household could have. Hence, why I charged a lot of their needs and wants to my credit card.

Let’s make this clear, my debt is NOT because of them. It is because of my poor money management skills. I only share some of my poor financial decisions with you to provide insight. I’m the one who decided to charge several family trips on a credit card.

I may not be the average 46 year old mom when it comes to my finances because, I will admit, I wasn’t responsible with my finances. But I promise that will change today as I am on the road to financial freedom by learning how to manage money. I’m starting off with paying for everything in cash again. Hence, why I only have $200 in my checkings.

I started to read and listen to financial books again. In my next post, I’ll share some books and resources that have helped me along my long and slow journey of learning how to manage my money. For now, this book, Money A Love Story, is what helped ignite my road to financial literacy. I really enjoyed this book. Although the author and I came from two very different backgrounds, there was a lot in this book that I could relate to.

Basically, I’m starting all over again. Back to the time when I was living on cash only and scheduling time to correct my credit and go over my finances. It’s going to be a hard road to getting out of debt and achieving financial freedom. I know, like most things I set my mind to, I will get there. Hopefully, my blogs which all are of my honest opinions and journey will help inspire the few who also have similar stories. We can do this together!

If you’d like to follow me on my journey on learning how to manage money and achieve financial freedom, please sign up to stay updated. If you have any kind tips or advice you’d like to share, please write a comment below.

As always, thank you for reading.

Love, Sutivi.